admiration.

In Song of Songs, the beloved finds pleasure in her lover,

she says he is this and this and this to her.

One of the girls in my DTS said my Lover is a jazz song, another said He's a sunset.

This is my list of what my Lover is to me, how I know He's cradling me:

an open fire on a snowy day. an orchestra full of melodies. the breeze of the pacific ocean. the window down on a road trip in the summer. the solitude of absolute silence. a roller coaster ride. the first day of fall. the celebration of life, after one has died. the discovery of new places. the return to old ones. pure freedom. the squeeze of a little one's hug. a letter full of imagery and truth. the feeling of a getting to the top of a mountain. a good book. an acoustic song. the magnitude of a sky full of stars and realizing how small you are. the smile spread or breath taken after a good cry. my grandma's fingers running through my hair. a really honest, loving prayer. surprises. the moment your abs hurt from laughing so hard. the wonder after finding out the person who you like likes you, too. good, full conversations over coffee or dinner. driving at night and listening to your thoughts. that first drink of water after being thirsty for a long time and you feel it spill over your stomach. the minute you admit you're wrong and the other person doesn't rub it in your face, and just hugs you. believing you're pretty. being wrapped in a blanket on a saturday morning. seeing the poverty of this world but knowing there is hope. when the air is so cold, my boogers freeze. being able to help other see Your love, and witnessing their eyes going "OH!". the suspense in a romantic comedy. the surrender in giving life to You. the exhilaration after a run. roasting s'mores while camping. remember when's. black and white photos. 

How does the He captivate you?

here today, gone tomorrow.

In the past week, I've traveled over 4,000 miles - all of which were consumed with wonder. A wonder of what life looks like without my number one fan, a wonder of why death isn't so heart wrenching, a wonder of how hope is evident in such pain. The sudden passing of a loved one is a strange thing; as much as it happens, I'm still surprised, and astonished. I find myself trying to understand how, why, what. I had 2,000 miles to process, to weep, to rejoice and to look forward. I kept thinking a part of me would eventually die over the week because so much of me was formed by her, so many of my thoughts were confirmed in her and so many of my prayers were for her but it didn't. What happened was that an even bigger part of me came alive because of her. Devastation can cause us to dwindle in self pity and longing. Or. Devastation can bring revelation and realization. I chose to realize;

Realize the celebration of life. Realize that death has lost it's sting. Realize I will sing with her again.

I write this smiling. God has taken the most horrendous thing in my life thus far and turned it absolutely into a radiant glow; it's amazing. There's peace instead of hysteria, there's warmth of comfort instead a shiver of the unknown, there's fellowship instead of heart ache. I mean, really, it's amazing. The way God orchestrates details in life is beautiful, is delicate, is with our best interest at heart; I'm honored, humbled, encouraged.
Honestly, I'm just thankful. My cheeks burst with gratitude because my timing is not His. All of me wishes for her to be at my wedding, and to see New York with me, and to hold my child but she won't. And that's okay. She's walking without pain, she's dancing without shame, she's totally and completely full.
That swells me with joy. with hope. with thanksgiving.

Thanks, God that you have a perfect plan. That you hold and cradle when we can't even stand. That you rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn because You are a loving God, a living God, a caring God. May those who only know religion, see Your perfect relationship; may those who ache have hope; may those who only comprehend the temporal, trust in the eternal.
I love you, keep my grandma smiling until I get there.

breath of fresh air.

"Eternity for you begins now. His perfection reigns in His kingdom, and His kingdom reigns in you. You carry life - life to the full. You're not waiting for the end of life as you think you know it for the wholeness you think you can only anticipate.

It is yours, now."

thanks, jesus.

intimacy.

Satan means accuser, and even when we're before the throne of God, he's accusing. Right when we say God, I give you my all; he stands beside us and says, 'Really? You're going to give your life to something you can't see? Really?'

In Revelation 12, it talks about the war that we as humans are born into. How the dragon (Satan) was thrown down and there was no place for him in heaven. That means there was a place for him before he chose to go against God. Before time as we knew it began, there was God and all His angels and Satan was his right hand man. There's an account in Ezekiel 28:11-16 that describes him; he had an anointing on his creation, he was perfect in model and full of wisdom. Because of God's absolute love, there was even a choice in heaven, and Satan was convinced with all that God had adorned him with, he could have all the power. In Revelation 12, it states that he lost and he was made the deceiver of this world.

How's he doing?

God loves because He is jealous for us. Satan deceives because he's jealous of us; he once had that intimacy with God and no longer does, it's a battle for relationship.

Who's winning in your life?

We watched a video (below) and I literally collapsed to my face. This man decided to give more than thirty minutes to God to wait and see what He said; he decided to just wait until, until anything. He was in his basement alone with his guitar recording song after song, just praising our King. In this video, a choir of angels are singing with him. Our speaker said, 'Just let Him speak to you.'

The Living God said this to me: 

My dearly Beloved, I take you from this day forward, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or worse.

He wanted me to know He was winning the battle for relationship, and that He wanted and wants the most intimate there is. 

He is my Lover and I his Beloved.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8Xh5-1nBtc

Watch it, and then worship.

Psalm 100:4-5 says we enter his courts and gates through thanksgiving and praise.

niko.

Niko means to overcome or conquer.
Our group overcame lack of sleep, food and comfort. We overcame 20 miles of inclined Mexico mountains. We overcame windy, cold nights with only our breath to keep us warm. We overcame sore bodies and spirits of giving up. We conquered being encouraging and joyful. We conquered no showers or toothpaste. We conquered killing chickens and hot days.
Niko is a two and a half day test; test of patience, endurance and hope. It's also a luxury to see the sunset on the Pacific ocean from 100 feet, to see how far you can go, to see how awesome God truly is. This week was different for everyone and in so many ways, the same. We learned. We grew. We laughed. It was a once in a lifetime kind of deal.
My attitude, if something arises that is difficult, is to give up; simply and plainly. It's much easier to coast when the ride isn't as bumpy but I was forced to see the joy in persevering. To get to the end of what I am capable of and then keep going. To face a challenge with a smile genuinely across my face. To run after the bumps because it's worth the refinement. He taught me that it's not about me, ever; it's never about what I want, it's never about what I am comfortable with, it's never about what rights I have or what I think - it's about Him. This life of sacrifice is for Him because of Him. My God doesn't want to see me pushing myself as far as I can go and then scream, "I DID IT!" at the top; He wants to be the one pushing me the hardest and motivating me to say, "YOU DID IT, GOD!".
At the beginning and end of the day, there should be no me.
He's cultivating a spirit of joy and thanksgiving, a deep perseverance, an ever expanding heart.
It was a simple journey, but one that meant the world.

hard days.

rejoice, always.

i'm on the shore of an ocean bigger than my imagination,

and it wakes my feet with the struggles of this world;

the hopelessness that comes with injustice,

my ankles feel the brim of uncertainty and inaccuracy.

somehow, i'm locked into place,

my feet are grounded like the roots of a tree

and i stare ahead.

home is no where in sight, not even a phone call away;

the coldness of water is now touching my knees,

i shiver with a knotted stomach but brush it off just in time 

to realize my thighs are in the depths of insecurities. 

still, my eyes are locked on a glorious sky straight ahead,

hardly noticing i'm drowning within myself.

suddenly, salt water covers my stomach with reclusiveness,

and an 'i wish..' mentality,

my hands swish the water back and forth wondering where 

the air went.

a firework of colors stream the sky as a sun sets,

there are blues and reds and pixels of hues i've never witnessed before,

so naturally, i focus.

my neck realizes the water has clasped all around with 

unanswered prayers and arrogant excuses;

the gravity of the water triggers my mind to act,

panic, sheer terror, sadness envelopes me -

water never covers my head, this is where i stay

and this is when he commands me to

rejoice, always.

justice starts here.

Human trafficking is the act of transferring or recruiting a person through force, deception or other means for the purpose of exploiting them. Many people who are trafficked are poor and told they will be leaving their families for a certain amount of time to make money and then be coming back. The minute they leave with their employers, their literal identities are taken and they are too scared to leave or have no idea where they're at. Some may return to home but most don't because it puts their families in danger. There are several different kinds of trafficking - sexual (which is the most known and consists of woman, children or men unwillingly being sold for sexual gratification), labor (doing work which they are either paid little to nothing for), child soldiers (kidnapping, brainwashing and training them for war), or organ trafficking (which is the act of a parent selling their infant or child to someone for them to kill for their organs). This isn't a demented story told in a different country, these aren't just words - they have faces, names, personalities, purposes that are being stripped from them.

This isn't something we can't do anything about.

The oppressors have a story, too.

All of human trafficking stems from the root lie of power or lust, but do you want to know where that lie begins? It begins in pornography. It starts with seeing woman as objects instead of jewels. It starts with a lie that watching the act of sex will gratify a man OR a woman's deepest desires. Most of the women who are in those videos are trafficked, most of them do not enjoy what they are doing; they are being forced. 

We can't just go into a red light district and take a person out and give them a new life because guess what? Another person will fill in their place, and another heart will fill their place because THERE IS STILL DEMAND. Demand starts with pornography. In the U.S alone, 20 million search engines typed in 'teen sex' or 'teenage sex'. 

Ted Bundy, who raped and killed 36 woman was sentenced to death. A network took an interview with him before he was executed asking him what his thoughts were, and how he could possibly do what he did. This rapist, this killer began to tell his story and this was it: he grew up in a Christian home. Went to church every weekend. Was an innocent boy, and one of his friends, when he was 13 showed him a magazine. And he took the liberty to continue in that. Pornography became an addiction. It became such an addiction that 'normal' porn videos weren't enough so, he started buying and watching violent sex. in the process, he felt so guilty and ashamed, he started drinking. Heavily. Soon, the violence wasn't enough and the alcohol and drugs numbed him enough that he had to act it out. To the point where 36 woman were his victims.

When boys are younger and you ask them what they want to be - none of them say 'I want to rape children', 'I want to run my own pornography business', 'I want to be more obsessed with sex than anything.' They're innocent, just like he was. It starts with a like, just like he was shared with. 

The reason I talk about this is because if we do not STOP the demand for pornography, it will be acted out. Woman will continue to be trafficked, as well as children. Men will continue to long for that power and give into that lie that pornography is normal.

A survey was taken at a Christian college campus and ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of the men admitted to watching porn. When did this start becoming okay? When did this become just something fun to do? When does it stop becoming a habit and start being lived out?

This lie, this deception needs to be in the light.

The enemy is stripping us of what sex is meant to be. The enemy is taking one by one and decieving them that the woman actually enjoy being raped. The enemy is planting and rooting seeds that having sex with children is just another power source. The enemy is taking our flesh and making it our god. 

THE ENEMY CANNOT WIN.

JESUS HAS GIVEN US VICTORY.

PORNOGRAPHY IS NOT THE WAY, THE TRUTH OR THE LIFE HE INTENDED FOR YOU.

KNOW THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.

I fully believe once young man and even woman see the deception of this lie and see the consequences of this sin, they will try harder to stop this. They will become more passionate about the justice God wants to bring to this world. We cannot continue to sit back and let the enemy steal innocence and proclaim worthlessness over these woman and children. 

Justice starts with monitoring your computer. Justice starts with walking away from lust. Justice starts with relying so heavily on the strength of God. Justice starts with standing up and walking out of a room if you are by yourself and tempted. 

The demand ends today.

Human trafficking ends today.

Justice begins.

truths.

My days are different every day even with the same schedule.  Thoughts are a million a minute and prayers are accumulating by the second, as I see more of the hearts of those around me, as I learn of the depths of need around the world. One day, we had intercession for poverty stricken families, we were focusing in on Ensenada but there was a statistic: 925 million children died in 2010 alone because of hunger. No one knows that, no one cares about that. Questions came up in my heart - Do I go? Where do I go? I want to be apart of the solution but how? I want to be more than a donation, I want to invest, I want to love, I want to teach them what following this Jesus guy means and that His intentions weren't for their brothers and sisters to starve to death. If I go to college, I would graduate in 2016 - how many seeds could have been sowed, how many hearts could have been restored? But I know it's not that easy and it's not about the location; I'm passionate about going but I'm more passionate about God's will, which I'm not entirely sure is now, today, in this second. That's when I take a deep breath and say, 'I trust you.' That's when I get on my knees and stand in the gap for those families. That's when I learn it's not about me going, it's about Him sending and calling.

Last night, the DTS students performed a skit of the city of Ephesus (when the letter 'Ephesians' was written); there were prostitutes and gypsies. There was a pouring of (fake) blood of a bull on over someone's head. There was a sacrifice of a virgin. There was a god to bow down to, and this was AFTER Jesus came. When we were done, we had a worshiped.
Worthy is the Lamb.
Worthy is the Lamb.
Worthy.
Is.
The.
Lamb.
He didn't die on that cross because He was a criminal. He didn't die because He couldn't defend Himself or wasn't powerful enough. He died because He was worthy enough to take our places, to stand in our gaps; that even when we spit in His face, He choose to say 'I love you.' and He wasn't resurrected because that's a good story. He wasn't resurrected because He didn't die in the first place. He was resurrected so that we may have the same power in Him to conquer our lives, our self, our hopes and choose His. His sacrifice became real, it became intimate and
the puffiness of my eyes are evidence of the tears He stored up for me last night.

God, I love you. God, I want you. God, I see no other but You.
let my scales fall so i may see the glory of the kingdom,
and how this small life fits into it.

provision.

We were asked what our theme verse was going to be during this season of DTS; when I was on the plane, I was praying about the same thing, I kept asking Lord, what can I go back to for encouragement, revelation and hope? He was faithful in giving this one:
Philippians 3:14 says, "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus."
Coming into YWAM, I was passionate about Christ. The only thing I'm really good at is believing and holding on to the whole hearted truth that He exists. I haven't ever been good at math, or science. I love English and history fascinates me but they didn't motivate me. I didn't wake in the morning craving to give God glory through any 'gifts' like sports or song, but by simply living my life. My decisions haven't always presented my Holy God in Holy light, and my life has been a wreck more than once. I haven't read through all the bible or spoke in tongues. I have failed and will continue to. Through all of it, though He held on to His promise(s) and because of that, my passion only ignited. His truth is fire in my lungs. His grace is a flowing of tears. His love is unfathomable so, I came in knowing ministry was what I wanted. I didn't know where or what that looked like and I still don't know but,
This season, I press.
Towards the goal of heaven.
Towards the goal of that heavenly call I can't see.
Towards the prize that will be given when I answer that call.

quiet your heart.

People say you can't fathom heaven which is probably true, but I imagined heaven today.

there's something humbling about running alongside the pacific ocean, listening to the rush of waves kissing the shore. i imagined being complete, fully. breathing in eternal air or maybe, in heaven we won't need fragile lungs to sustain us. smiling at my eternal lover bowing at his feet. i imagined being full, completely. needing nothing but my wings to fly and my heart to soar to keep me. seeing only the steps in front of me with not one care in my head. praises were instantly spewing from my mouth; that'll be my accent when i return home, praises. i imagined being complete, fully. the sun may not always set, or rise where i'm going but the son will always be. sand may not always pivot under my weight or soak up each drop of water when i reach paradise but the rock will have been faithful. what i know here may not be known there,

but I imagined heaven today.

doors unlocked and open.

Leaving my country. Leaving my father's house. Leaving my spiritual kin.
It's time. It'll take faith to wake each morning praying to die to self. It'll take faith to step into a foreign world. It'll take faith to compassionately understand each story. It'll take faith to choose biting my tongue when I think I'm right. It'll take faith to love friends and family in different time zones. It will take faith,
that's where Jesus comes in.
He's done far more than I could ever accomplish but I pray to accomplish what I will in His name, for His glory. May I be like Abram, and go; not question, and go, not doubt and go, but go.

Genesis 12:1,5 says, "Now the Lord said to Abram, 'Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you....So, Abram went."

Lord, I'm coming.

the last month;

My goal has been to soak up every inch of this place, my home. My goal has been to remember each line on each face, and laugh until my abs feel like they just did P90X. My goal has been to write the plains of Michigan upon my heart, and the hugs of my family members in my arms. My goal has been to run my last lap here, and run it well.
It's been pretty successful.

These are the things I sacrifice, these are the moments I leave, these are the people I love going on without me. I take rest in knowing the foundations aren't established in the crumbling of this Earth, but on the rock of Christ. I enter into a new season with just my camera and faith by my side; ever trusting in a God I cannot see with the scope of my humans eyes but am continually seeing with the retinas of my heart.
Thank you, Father for giving such extraordinary gifts in such extraordinary people. Thank you, God for equipping me through each of them. Thank you, Jesus for choosing me on the cross to also come and die. Thank you, Spirit for putting within me revelation and wisdom. Impress these memories upon my heart; allow me to pull them out when I miss the taste of lakes and smiles. I know I'll come back as if no time has passed and all the familiar monuments will be the same, and I'll figure out it was me who changed, it was them who grew. Thanks for even those precious moments of hope. God, I love you.

prayer.

"Disturb us, Lord, when we are too pleased

with ourselves, when our dreams have come 

true because we dreamed too little, when we 

arrived safely because we sailed too close to 

the shore. Disturb us, Lord."

my own fairy tale.

This boy sought my heart through Jesus Christ, and captured it on the 23rd of a cold January night. I watched months before as he captivated me without even knowing; his strumming of guitar for a God he knew intimately, his teasing and teaching with great love, his sitting with the least of these seeing the brokenness they've fled from, his loyalty to a family of nine. My relationships have been far and few from glorifying God, but still the Lord's redemption was more faithful than I ever have been and He gave me him. He gave me a relationship to set upon the foundation of Christ, to reflect the most beautiful relationship in the entire world (and for that, I'm beyond thankful).
In ten days, I'll be living in a foreign country and,
I think I may just miss that smile the most.
The way it ties around my fragile heart and keeps my swelling tears from falling. The way it smirks at me after a disagreement and pulls me to a peace of mind. The way it quietly loosens the guard of my heart and embraces the obvious imperfections of my flesh. The way it's committed and the way it's committing.
I have a hard time fathoming the gift that he's been to me.
He has reached in and questioned the places I've hardened to pull out the potential I blinded myself to. He's gently challenged me to look within; within the motives, and the words, and the actions and allowed me to ponder whether those were mine or God's. Never forcing the realization that more often than not they were mine. He's stayed by my side and fought as I pushed away and he's confessed the vulnerability of his heart so that I may benefit from his failures. He's smiled warmly as I've simply grown. He exuberates 'Love is patient' by patiently awaiting my responses in the long moments of silence.
This gift has been wrapped carefully just for me, it seems.
He's part of the reason I keep going.
He's part of the reason I keep seeking.
He's part of the reason I can smile.
He's part of the reason I can hope.

The other part, the main part is the One whose given.
and He's given freely, not just in the body of Samuel Erwin but in the grace of His Son,
and in that grace, I've been rescued time and time again
but on January 23rd, He chose to have his warrior, my gift
rescue me.

confession.

the deeper i become with god, the deeper i dig and pray and study; the more he shows me my very loose ended heart. i deceive myself so greatly that most of the sin he reveals, i stand there shocked as if i just heard the most appalling accusation, and it is - appalling. i'm appalled at my blinded but awakened and alert to his faithfulness. i'm appalled by the way the ones nearest to me are treated as a result of my selfishness, or pride, or rebellion, or impatience but thrilled to know there is a way out.
i'm learning that jesus waited. he waited on the ones he loved, he waited to heal and to bring hope at just the right second, he waited on his father to supply with exactly what he needed for that day, he waited to teach his disciples, he waited a grueling six hours on the cross to bear the sin of the world and i claim waiting is out of the picture. i roll my eyes and i feel the burning of evil in my heart forming walls because for the life of me, i cannot wait; wait in the everyday things, the pause of a conversation, the figuring out of directions, a line. it dumbfounds me how buried my sin, but my god is good enough to bring it to light.
i'm learning that jesus respected those below him, he would regard the lowly, he would care for the sick. i'm learning i need to respect all those above, every authority he's placed to keep me in place. i rebel instead of respect. i speak out when i know i shouldn't just so i can feel in control. i walk away when something isn't going my way because it's natural not to want to deal with conflict. it results in the breaking of hearts that i never wanted.
i'm learning that my pride solidifies both of those things in place, and i'm learning my savior's humility solidified his work for the kingdom in place, and that is such a gloriously captivating truth.
i'm so grateful my god loves me just as i am, but loves me enough to make sure i don't stay this way so, he challenges me and gives me opportunity, he inscribes verses on my heart to recall in the midst of impulse.
he gives the newness of life.
i am dead, he is risen within me.

hallelujah.

on repeat.

breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.
breathe. hope. trust.

you get it.

praise.

im anxious to go, but i don't want to stay. i want to travel, but i don't know where to go. i'm restless, but need rest. i'm out of breath, and catching it. i'm letting go, just to hold on. i'm being relieved, to be challenged again.
it's the contradictions of this life i struggle with the most. this perfect balance jesus found, i'm still looking for; the magnificent peace of his love, i'm still being completed by; the beauty of his hope, im still praying to see clearly. life has this way of catching me off guard, and it's only when i'm blindsided that i see.
i took communion this sunday, and i whispered to my lord - 'it's by your blood, i breathe; it's by your body, i live; it's because of your sacrifice, i know the fullness of each day and it's because of your love, i am revived.'
in each quiet moment with my savior, balance is found.
it's my squinting eyes in the morning waking to new mercies.
it's the security jesus chooses to wrap me in when i'm embraced.
it's the windows down singing freely to the enriched unseen.
it's the shadows leaping off of trees onto the sidewalk.
it's the conversations over breakfast.
it's the old man's passion learned over years.
it's the phone calls made just to hear a voice.

these are the places my balance is found,
and i can't help but thank the god who has called me.

lose your mind if you lose control.

dad, i surrendered you today.

i don't know how i thought a daughter's love could change a man, i'm imperfect and delicate. 

god isn't; he's honest and he honestly sees you,

maybe that's why you won't look back at him.

even my best efforts, on my most lovely day couldn't sway the way you live,

i'm sorry if i ever let you down, i'm sorry if i skewed the image of eternity for you.

it was just a matter of time before

i realized you weren't ever mine to take care of,

i took the place of a father who knows you intimately, who believes in you truly.

does that scare you?

someone knowing all your secrets you've been harboring, 

someone distinctly seeing the formation of the distorted thoughts in your mind,

someone discerning the motives within you, even when they're dark and wrong,

someone waiting for a confession that may never come;

because you're your own worst enemy.

facing yourself would mean change; change is vital for growth.

you never told me you were done growing.

this isn't because of mom, or because of what you haven't told me,

this is because i love you, with a love i can't even comprehend.

i'm not running away, or escaping;

i'm just surrendering.

always, em.

blessings.

Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord..."

I recently got a new camera (a Nikon D3100, to be exact) and I delight in taking pictures.

 More than that, I delight in a sky opening up so the light God created can be seen.

  I delight in Sarah's genuine laugh.

  I delight in my sister seeking out the will of God, even if it's not what she desired or asked for.

 I delight in the thoughtfulness of a bamboo plant for my pandas who can't eat.

 I delight in the sun setting after a day of earnest prayer.

 I delight in the most precious, radiant boy I've come to know.

I delight in the fragile heart and body of a brother who is ten years younger than I.

 James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

I find great joy in the work of my Maker, and it's an easy discovery of wonder; the taste of peach, the smell of the new born day, the saltiness of a conversation. All gifts from above; the cry of a baby, the laugh of a grandmother, the joy of a graduate. All gifts from above. My scales are slowly falling from the pit of complaints and mumblings (although, I mumble a lot, I can't help it :). I have had my revelation of Christ and I have realized how kind my God is to give a gift such as His Son, but that my God doesn't stop there - everything He's created is mine; I am co-heirs with the Almighty. My heart rings with thanksgiving for the good, and perfect gifts He's given. The gifts of a steadfast community, of an incredibly loving relationship, of a beautifully broken family, of the sounds of birds and trials of life. When I'm delighted in the Lord, though, my desires are not mine. They are for a greater cause, they are for a coming King, they are heaven bound. And when my sights are set on the joy, and glory before me,

...He will give you the desires of your heart."